Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
