I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
