I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
