i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize