So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
