i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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