Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
