He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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