I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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