goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
