I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
