Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
