I just threw up on my dentist
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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