You really coming over, don't trick.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
