dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
