if i can run in heels then i can drive
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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