I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
