I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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