Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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