You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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