I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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