Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
