Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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