I want to have your abortion
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
