we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
