sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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