hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
