My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize