What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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