so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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