hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
