Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
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Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
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if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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