careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
