there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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