I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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