It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
