rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
