I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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