Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
