I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just gargled with NyQuil
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
