Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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