living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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