i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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