Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
