Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
