chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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