too bad you live with your parents still
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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