Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Text me some of your sweat
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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