Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
