i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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