My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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