i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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