i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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