A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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