I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
