Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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