You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
