Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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