i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
