chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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