We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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