my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
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im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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