ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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