i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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