The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This baby is an asshole
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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