areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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