I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
