i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
