fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
