Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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