I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
